


Countenance

by alizrak



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Justice, M/M, Mention of torture, hand holding, post ep 128, spoilers for ep 128
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alizrak/pseuds/alizrak
Summary: [Hey... Can we teleport to your room? Is it safe? Tell them not to shoot if we appear outside... Be there... must... talk in private.]A small smile touched Essek’s lips. Jester always had problems to fit all her messages into the allotted number of words, but she was getting better. Still, she had a serious tone… similar to those first sendings about the Noganon a few days ago. He frowned. Something might have happened.The Mighty Nein manage to return to Eiselcross to Essek with a shaken Caleb.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 12
Kudos: 205





	Countenance

_[Hey...Can we teleport to your room? Is it safe? Tell them not to shoot if we appear outside... Be there... must... talk in private.]_

A small smile touched Essek’s lips. Jester always had problems to fit all her messages into the allotted number of words, but she was getting better. Still, she had a serious tone… similar to those first sendings about the Noganon a few days ago. He frowned. Something might have happened. 

_[Yes, the room is safe. Give me a few minutes to get everyone ready and I'll be there. Message me if you arrive somewhere else.]_

He looked around the outpost and waved at Uraya. They had just returned from their trip to Rosohna and Essek gave them instructions to deliver to the guards to keep them from shooting at the Nein if their teleportation left them off target. 

"Get the healers ready as well," he added, hastily making his way to his personal quarters at a brisk ‘pace’. He hoped the healers wouldn't be necessary but you never knew what to expect here. He tried to look calm but felt the slightly faster gliding gave his worry away to the rest of the guards as he passed by. If they noticed, they said nothing.

Essek was in his room in less than a minute. He closed the door behind him and leaned his back against it. He needed the next minute or so to calm his nerves before they arrived here. 

He took a deep breath, remembering Caleb's words and smiled weakly. Everything would be alright. They were coming back and they would surely bring some help. They were always ridiculously resourceful-

They were here. In a blink, they had appeared in the middle of the room. They were touching Caleb's shoulder and, thankfully, they were in one piece. Good.

Essek opened his mouth, trying to smile and greet them, but... hesitated. They looked much like the day they had arrived first to the outpost, maybe even worse. Tense. Nervous. Darkened expressions. In fact, his attention turned immediately to Caleb who looked... completely off. Wary. Apprehensive. Withdrawn. He had a lost expression, like he was still trying to find his center. 

Essek tensed. Maybe a side effect of the spell? One of the many weird results of the wild magic surrounding this zone? No. It wasn't that. 

Jester hadn't jumped at him to greet him either. She was looking at the ground with a guilty expression. "Hey," she limited to say with an awkward little wave.

"What happened?" Essek finally whispered. His voice made Caleb zone back into focus. 

" _Essek_ ," Caleb eyes grew wide with worry and he approached him immediately, his hands quickly searching through the pockets of his coat for something. 

"Caleb, are you alri-?" He couldn't even finish as Caleb procured a necklace and placed it around Essek's neck. No asking. Essek stood there in shock. He didn't dare to move as he could see Caleb quickly securing it with shaky hands.

He had never seen Caleb like this. He was shaken... terrified.

"You must attune to it. _I'm sorry._ This is for your protection. _I'm sorry._ Oh, you might have some other item to keep you safe already, I didn't think of that. _I'm sorry... I-_ " Caleb trailed off looking like he was going to get sick. Essek hesitantly placed his hands on Caleb’s shoulders to keep him steady. Caleb weakly gripped at the mantle for support as well.

“Caleb, breathe…” Essek said, his mind racing. What could have such an effect on Caleb? What had happened? Why was he like this? He looked in confusion at the others but they shied their eyes away from him.

Caleb nodded weakly and breathed slowly, shakily. "I'm sorry," Caleb whispered again, staring at the amulet on Essek's chest with a vacant expression. "You were right."

Essek's felt a shiver run down his spine.

"About what...?"

"We... got help from our allies, but when we tried to get these... things escalated quickly and... Trent discovered us. We barely managed to escape," Caleb closed his eyes as if the memory physically pained him. Essek's whole body seemed to freeze up in fear at the mention of that name... but Caleb was not finished. "He- He wants me back. Wants to get me-..." he whispered barely audibly. Caleb looked down and slowly reached at his sleeves with a trembling hand, revealing the marks covering them. He couldn't say more.

The words shook Essek to the core. His eyes grew larger seeing the marks on his arms. Essek tightened the grip on Caleb's shoulder. 

Trent wanted Caleb? The idea of him getting his hands on Caleb for whatever sick plan or experiment he wouldn't even dare to imagine made his stomach turn. 

No. No. He couldn't let that happen. Not Caleb. Anything but him.

Suddenly, Essek realized he was holding him, as if he had instinctively tried to shield him from danger. He stiffened and was about to let go and apologize but he felt Caleb slowly holding him back.

“ _I’m sorry… I think they know about you_ ,” Caleb whispered in dismay.

Even if he felt his throat tightening in fear, Essek shook his head. “They already knew… They knew I cared about you...” he said and, for a moment, he felt the urge to backtrack and add ‘about all of you’, but he didn’t. He meant this. He really did. It didn't matter that he was terrified of the Assembly as well because one thing was clear for him. “I won’t let them take you.”

Caleb locked his eyes with him, as if he was trying to figure out if his words were true... and he believed them. It was a promise.

“We will need to deal with Lucien first,” Fjord sighed, and Essek slightly straightened with a small rush of embarrassment remembering the rest of the Nein were still watching. He had never been affectionate, especially in public, but even as Caleb also parted from the hug, his hand discreetly sought Essek’s and held it tightly under the mantle. Caleb sniffled and wiped something from his eyes. Essek glanced at him and gave back a small squeeze. Fjord continued. “After we defeat Lucien and stop The City, we will come back to get rid of these people. No one is going to be taken,” Fjord assured, looking at Jester who had a few tears on her eyes as well. “No one.”

Jester nodded with a sad smile. “Yeah, our families are safe for now. I just don’t know if we can fight all of them,” she said with a bit of worry. “We will need to prepare, like, really well.”

“Maybe we won’t have to,” Beau said, her arms crossed and a serious look on her face.

“I mean, we had _really bad luck_ with the last few plans, but preparing might still be worth it,” Veth shrugged.

“No, I mean, maybe we won’t have to face Trent ourselves,” Beau turned her gaze back at Caleb. “What Caleb said about using the crystals as the evidence… that might actually be our best option if we want to bring them down.”

“What crystals?” Essek raised an eyebrow with interest.

There was a pause as everyone was waiting for Caleb’s approval to reveal it. He slightly nodded. “Show him.”

Essek felt how Caleb’s hand tensed when Veth took out a few vials with blue crystals inside.

“Along with the amulets... we found these. He… they put these on us… to enhance our magic… to make us his tools…” Caleb shuddered and Essek could not do anything else but to give another squeeze. _I’m here. We are here._

“In fact, I think Essek might be able to help with that,” Beau gestured to the drow.

Essek’s turned to Beau. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe you already know, but the Cobalt Soul and the King both launched investigations about the whole Luxon incident, and it seems they are closing in on the Assembly,” she stared at Essek, reading his every reaction.

“I had assumed so,” he nodded slightly, still a bit unsure of where she was going with this. 

“Well, it turns out, maybe they might have a chance to bring them to light with the right information. Bring them to justice,” she looked straight at him. “Caleb wants to testify about what Trent did to him. Maybe you can testify against them as well. Give the Cobalt Soul the evidence they need.”

It was Essek’s turn to feel panic rising in his chest… Caleb for his part remained silent. He wouldn’t not pressure Essek into doing something like this.

“If I come forward… I’ll be a target for everyone,” Essek tried to explain.

“Look, I could check if the Cobalt Soul has anything like a witness protection program or some shit like that. But with your help… they might just be able to strike them down. It’s the least you can do.”

Essek felt the air becoming thin. Coming clean… telling the world what they did… what HE did.

“I won’t be able to set a foot on the Dynasty ever again. What I did would be regarded as heretic… Treason. I would be executed on the spot,” he said, not complaining but simply stating the truth.

“We won’t let that happen, Essek,” Jester said, coming close and grabbing his other hand.

He smiled weakly at her. “Thank you, but… they are right. At the very least, exile is the punishment I deserve…”

“Not punishment. Atonement,” Caduceus softly said with a warm smile. “Stop them from letting that happen ever again,” he said tilting his head towards Caleb.

“I am not an innocent man either, I did terrible things under him,” Caleb whispered, lifting his eyes to Essek. “But this is what we must do to fix it. To leave the world better than we found it…” Caleb echoed his own words from weeks ago.

Essek stared in silence at him for a moment and then nodded.

“I’ll do it,” he said, feeling both terrified and relieved.

He would stand with them. He would face dark ancient abominations for them. He would face the Assembly. He would face what he did. And with some luck, the world would be better for it.


End file.
